


In Which Bang Visits Transylvania Polygnostic University

by stellawind



Category: Girl Genius (Webcomic)
Genre: TPU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 00:40:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17355701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellawind/pseuds/stellawind
Summary: In another reality, when Agatha is thrown out of Dr. Merlot’s lecture, her parents have a conversation with Dr. Beetle who commands she is to be let sit in on any class she likes. In this world, she meets Bangladesh DuPree.





	In Which Bang Visits Transylvania Polygnostic University

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Para](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Para/gifts).



Agatha had managed nearly four weeks, hiding in the oversized military coat, her hair tucked up under an oversized floppy hat, her glasses replaced by a monocle before Dr. Merlot realized she auditing his course without permission.

His anger when he realized the quiet student in the back row was her continued to be whispered about the university for years to come.

A simple bump by another student, when he was trying to get past had sent her hat tumbling to the ground, the goggles she’d fixed to it clattering loudly down the stairs of the large auditorium in the grand lecture hall. The noise drew the attention of all, as Agatha’s hair slid down her head, falling like a banner in a dying wind.

Dr. Merlot recognized her in an instant, and the chalk in his hands snapped into two.

“Miss Clay,” he hissed, letting the giant tuning fork he had been using for his demonstration fall to the floor with a loud clang and then a discordant hum. He stalked up the stairs, his face slowly turning red with rage. “I believe I made myself very clear last semester, but clearly it did not sink into your imbecilic mind.”

Agatha shrank back in her seat.

“Are you a student here?”

“No, but-“

“Are you, perhaps, then a professor?”

“I-“

“No, you aren’t that either” Merlot shouted. “YOU ARE A MERE LAB ASSISTANT. You may assist the Tyrant, but never forget that I am his second. _I am above you,_ in every possible way!”

“I just want to learn!” Agatha yelled back, the twanging pain shooting up her neck warming her another one of her fits would be coming if she didn’t control her emotions.

“Learn your place, girl,” Dr. Merlot shouted, and seized her by the nape of her neck, marching her out of the auditorium, and then the building itself, throwing her down the stairs.

It was a short flight, and Agatha lay for a second, realizing the thick coat had mostly protected her. Her notebook nearly hit her face, and she heard Merlot loudly storm back into the hall.

Shaking with emotions she was trying hard to ignore, Agatha sniffled and picked up the notebook.

“Why don’t you just get mad? You’d be much happier that way.”

Agatha blinked and fumbled for her glasses which she tucked into the inner pocket of the coat. They were miraculously unbroken.

The woman who was speaking to her was everything Agatha felt she wasn’t at an awkward sixteen. She was tall and shapely, with dark skin and darker hair. The red aviator's coat she wore was clearly tailored to fit her exactly. She displayed gold jewelry with the unconcern of a noble, and the skull-shaped bindi on her forehead promised danger.

“I can’t?” Agatha offered helplessly. “Get mad, that is.”

“Really?” the woman asked, and Agatha did know that tone. She’d heard it often enough from other students, who wanted to test her control.

“Yes, I get a headache,” she said, with a cool politeness.

“Oh. I think I would kill someone so that I wouldn’t have to worry about getting mad,” the woman said.

Agatha’s iciness melted away at such a frank admission, and she laughed. “That would make things easier.”

***

“Do you have a reason to stay here?” Bang asked abruptly.

Her attempts to talk to Beetle - supposedly one of the smartest men in Europa - about what or who could destroy her entire fortress had failed. She’d tried bribing him, but money had been of no interest to him. Threatening him had only made him laugh and point out his army of clanks. She’d even briefly considered seducing him, but rather thought the man was likely only attracted to beetles, which was a step too far even for her.

Thus, Bang was confronted with the reality that she needed someone with brains on the airship crew she slowly rebuilding. Or, better yet, a Spark.

The girl blinked owlishly. “What?”

“Do you want to stay?” Bang repeated.

“I…”

The girl looked so confused by the question. Bang tried to squash down her annoyance into something that wouldn’t show. She did hope the girl the type that was all knowledge and no common sense, otherwise, her utter confusion at there being another path would be an issue.

“Join me,” Bang said, deciding to cut to the chase. If the girl was stupid, she wouldn’t last long, and if she was just brainy with a lack of awareness, exceptions could be made. “I’m a privateer.”

“Like a pirate?” the girl asked.

“Exactly!” Bang said, delighted that the girl wasn’t completely clueless. “But not quite. Not anymore. I actually have a respectable job offer I’ll be taking soon, and I need a larger crew.”

Inspiration and a realization hit her, like a punch to solar-plexus.

“Can you do paperwork?” she asked, suddenly frantic.

“Yes,” the girl said, with surety. “I do all of it for Dr. Beetle, even the Baron’s tax forms.”

Bang breathed for a moment, suddenly feeling like this trip wouldn’t be a waste at all. If she could poach what was clearly one of Beetle’s most competent minions (who may or may not be a potential Spark), it would be worth it.

“Perfect. I’m going to be an agent of the Baron’s by this time next week. He’s insisting all these _things_ be written down. He even wants me to keep a Phenomena Log, can you believe it?”

The girl blinked again, clearly following as she chewed her lip.

Bang, who’s the nightmares for the past month had consisted of being chased by the Baron’s various monographs, all declaring in booming voices that she would read them next, began to worry, and she named the most reasonable salary she could think of.

Judging by how the girl’s jaw dropped, Beetle vastly underpaid her.

“Surely you don’t want to stay here forever?” Bang added, desperate.

“No,” the girl whispered, looking bleak at the thought. “Working with Dr. Merlot for years. Decades even. No. I can’t. I’d die. He’d arrange a lab accident even.”

“Hey, if you like working in labs, I’ll let you visit the ones of Castle Wulfenbach whenever we’re with the main fleet,” Bang promised recklessly.

The girl took a deep breath, and straightened, offering her hand. “Agatha Clay. I want a contract signed first, with all that spelled out.”

“Deal,” Bang said and shook her hand.

They spent the next hour at a coffee shop off campus, as Bang let Agatha dictate her own terms, as long as she agreed to do all of Bang’s future paperwork. A slight snag arose when the girl wanted to go back to her parents, to tell them everything that happened. Parents, Bang knew, were always trouble for her youngest crew, and she instead had Agatha write a letter.

There was absolutely no way she would chance losing her paperwork savior, and if she had to convince Klaus to let the Agatha have her own lab, Bang would.

 _Anything_ to avoid paperwork.


End file.
